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Old 20th March 2008, 04:17 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

Why is the thing your looking for always in the last place you look?
How do you lose something you put down 2 minutes ago?
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Old 20th March 2008, 04:51 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

If a bricklayer can lay bricks, can a plumber lay plums?
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Old 20th March 2008, 07:19 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables...

What do Humanitarians eat?
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Old 20th March 2008, 07:42 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

If the plural of goose is geese,shouldn't the plural of moose be meese.
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Old 21st March 2008, 01:07 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

Q. What's the capitalist version of communism?


A. Welfare.
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Old 27th March 2008, 11:12 AM   #31 (permalink)
DBS
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

If you're born again do you have two belly buttons?
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Old 27th March 2008, 11:29 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

Quote:
Originally Posted by DBS View Post
If you're born again do you have two belly buttons?
hang on[ng checks],nope still only have 1.
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Old 27th March 2008, 11:32 AM   #33 (permalink)
DBS
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

LOL...

instead of a second BB you were given an addiction to coffee...



Bill... i will leave now.... and go to Post Office and mail you your item...

sorry for HUGE delay.

regards,

Daryl
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Old 27th March 2008, 11:41 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

I got my chest pains under control,took the advice of a friend with a medical history and started taking a multi vitamean and it thinned my blood out and i only have chest pains when my b/p is high but yes i still drink coffeee like water,Hey no worries about the delay we all have busy schedules that at times can seem hectic.cheers and thanks again.
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Old 27th March 2008, 01:25 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

Why does mineral water have a sell by date when it has been running through mountains for years?
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Old 27th March 2008, 09:45 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

1)
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

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2)
Can you cry under water?

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3)
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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4)
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

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5)
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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6)
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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7)
What disease did cured ham actually have?

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8)
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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9)
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

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10)
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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11)
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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12)
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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13)
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

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14)
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

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15)
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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16)
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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17)
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

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18)
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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19)
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

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20)
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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21)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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22)
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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23)
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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24)
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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25)
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

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26)
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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Old 28th March 2008, 12:02 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

Quote:
Originally Posted by newguy18 View Post
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
LOL, I know a few walking blackouts!
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Old 28th March 2008, 01:37 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

15, 16, 18 and 24 got me.


Good Ones Bill!
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Old 28th March 2008, 03:16 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

20)
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Love it!!!!



Much better to catch the little beep beeping M'r F'r!
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Old 8th April 2008, 02:05 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

How come everyone says you can't put a price on human life yet most of us do it daily?
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Old 9th April 2008, 03:52 AM   #41 (permalink)
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Default Re: Things to Ponder

Lol nice ones Bill. I could say something about number 15 and Aboriginals, but for the sake of peace and harmony I'll keep it to myself.
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