Some levity for the holiday

StrictlyPalms · 27th December 2007, 04:32 AM

I'm new to the site and thought I'd show my silly sense of humor

=============================================
Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again.

They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?"

The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."
====================================================

Disclaimer: if this joke is offensive in any way because of its religious, racial, sexual orientation, hair color, national origin, or political views... then you're nuts.

bigshea13 · 27th December 2007, 07:43 AM

nice.

Eric Frei · 27th December 2007, 08:04 AM

newguy18 · 28th December 2007, 06:41 AM

i didn't get the joke but the disclaimer is funny.

Therrin · 28th December 2007, 09:37 AM

A frayed knot.

afraid not?

It's okay Newguy, you can just claim that too much sawdust affects the brain.

bigshea13 · 28th December 2007, 10:14 AM

two tree trimmers walk into a bar............................ouch!

newguy18 · 28th December 2007, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Therrin

A frayed knot.

afraid not?

It's okay Newguy, you can just claim that too much sawdust affects the brain.

Okay in that sense I'm totally offended and by that i mean I'm nuts.

shaggs · 29th December 2007, 10:39 PM

Like when you get an irishman to say "whale.oil.beef.hooked!"

shaggs · 29th December 2007, 10:40 PM

Well I'll be F@#ked!

Therrin · 30th December 2007, 02:19 PM

nice....

newguy18 · 30th December 2007, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaggs

Like when you get an irishman to say "whale.oil.beef.hooked!"

now I'm part irish now i'm gonna have to ....

..................

lmbo.

TREE-SURFER · 31st December 2007, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaggs

Like when you get an irishman to say "whale.oil.beef.hooked!"

It must have been the Guinness, that took me a little while to get that 1

bigshea13 · 31st December 2007, 02:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaggs

Like when you get an irishman to say "whale.oil.beef.hooked!"

lauffin me arse off!

Therrin · 31st December 2007, 10:17 PM

*a picture comes to therrin's head of a thousand TreeWorld lurkers all muttering "whale.oil.beef.hooked" while we're talkin about it* Hah...

Therrin · 31st December 2007, 11:31 PM

newguy18 · 1st January 2008, 12:25 AM

silent night?

TREE-SURFER · 1st January 2008, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Therrin

Thats terrible. Plastic is so hazardous to the environment.

StrictlyPalms · 1st January 2008, 07:19 AM

Liz Taylor wasn't in that movie, was she?

shaggs · 1st January 2008, 07:48 PM

Just like a mate of mine who works as a diesel fitter.
He sits at the end of an underpants assembly line. Each pair he places on his head and if he can pull the sides of the underpants all the way under his chin he screams......"DIESEL FITTER"!!!!

shaggs · 1st January 2008, 07:49 PM

"These'll fit her"

newguy18 · 2nd January 2008, 02:50 AM

I've heard a version of that before buts its still funny.

TREE-SURFER · 2nd January 2008, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaggs

Just like a mate of mine who works as a diesel fitter.
He sits at the end of an underpants assembly line. Each pair he places on his head and if he can pull the sides of the underpants all the way under his chin he screams......"DIESEL FITTER"!!!!

27th December 2007, 04:32 AM	#1
StrictlyPalms Semi-mature vigorous tree Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Orlando, Florida USA Posts: 177	Some levity for the holiday I'm new to the site and thought I'd show my silly sense of humor ============================================= Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again. They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar." So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts. Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?" The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot." ==================================================== Disclaimer: if this joke is offensive in any way because of its religious, racial, sexual orientation, hair color, national origin, or political views... then you're nuts. __________________ Strictly Palms, Inc. Orlando, Florida USA

27th December 2007, 07:43 AM	#2
bigshea13 Former Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: super 8 motels Posts: 361	Re: Some levity for the holiday nice.

27th December 2007, 08:04 AM	#3
Eric Frei Admin - Razor sharp and independent 2 X Diploma Level 5 qualified arborist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Brisbane Posts: 12,820	Re: Some levity for the holiday __________________ Protect your rights to work - Join Australian Tree Association My businesses:- Qualified Brisbane Tree Lopping \| Stump Grinding Brisbane \| Brisbane - Gold Coast Consulting Arborist

28th December 2007, 06:41 AM	#4
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: orlando,fl Posts: 4,977	Re: Some levity for the holiday i didn't get the joke but the disclaimer is funny. __________________ Have your say join us today. old schooler

28th December 2007, 09:37 AM	#5
Therrin Former Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Bakersfield, Ca Posts: 2,512	Re: Some levity for the holiday A frayed knot. afraid not? It's okay Newguy, you can just claim that too much sawdust affects the brain.

28th December 2007, 10:14 AM	#6
bigshea13 Former Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: super 8 motels Posts: 361	Re: Some levity for the holiday two tree trimmers walk into a bar............................ouch!

29th December 2007, 10:39 PM	#8
shaggs Mature tree Join Date: May 2007 Location: sydney Posts: 422	Re: Some levity for the holiday Like when you get an irishman to say "whale.oil.beef.hooked!"

29th December 2007, 10:40 PM	#9
shaggs Mature tree Join Date: May 2007 Location: sydney Posts: 422	Re: Some levity for the holiday Well I'll be F@#ked!

30th December 2007, 02:19 PM	#10
Therrin Former Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Bakersfield, Ca Posts: 2,512	Re: Some levity for the holiday nice....

31st December 2007, 10:17 PM	#14
Therrin Former Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Bakersfield, Ca Posts: 2,512	Re: Some levity for the holiday a picture comes to therrin's head of a thousand TreeWorld lurkers all muttering "whale.oil.beef.hooked" while we're talkin about it Hah...

31st December 2007, 11:31 PM	#15
Therrin Former Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Bakersfield, Ca Posts: 2,512	Re: Some levity for the holiday

1st January 2008, 12:25 AM	#16
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: orlando,fl Posts: 4,977	Re: Some levity for the holiday silent night? __________________ Have your say join us today. old schooler

1st January 2008, 07:19 AM	#18
StrictlyPalms Semi-mature vigorous tree Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Orlando, Florida USA Posts: 177	Re: Some levity for the holiday Liz Taylor wasn't in that movie, was she? __________________ Strictly Palms, Inc. Orlando, Florida USA

1st January 2008, 07:48 PM	#19
shaggs Mature tree Join Date: May 2007 Location: sydney Posts: 422	Re: Some levity for the holiday Just like a mate of mine who works as a diesel fitter. He sits at the end of an underpants assembly line. Each pair he places on his head and if he can pull the sides of the underpants all the way under his chin he screams......"DIESEL FITTER"!!!!

1st January 2008, 07:49 PM	#20
shaggs Mature tree Join Date: May 2007 Location: sydney Posts: 422	Re: Some levity for the holiday "These'll fit her"

2nd January 2008, 02:50 AM	#21
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: orlando,fl Posts: 4,977	Re: Some levity for the holiday I've heard a version of that before buts its still funny. __________________ Have your say join us today. old schooler

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