It's just a Joke!

newguy18 · 2nd January 2008, 09:19 PM

It was nice knowing you.

Sean Freeman · 3rd January 2008, 02:56 AM

Quote:

I have also heard cricket described as "baseball on valium"

Hmmm baseball...thats rounders on steriods right???

Anyone who didn't enjoy the Indian fightback innings today just doesn't like real team sports. (IMO)

newguy18 · 3rd January 2008, 07:18 AM

i guess I shouldn't watch cricket because I don't like baseball.Heck I usually don't watch any sport.

Ekka · 3rd January 2008, 01:08 PM

Tis a game of skill and strategy.

Field placement and bowler configuration. Who bats first and from which end, when do you declare, is it going to rain etc etc?

Unlike other games you can try to hang in there, fact is they got to get you out twice in a test or it's a draw. So like the soldiers of yesteryear you can try to dig in and prevail the bombardment of balls till the end of play and although you have less runs on the score board the game will result in a draw. This means for the higher scoring team they cant hog the show ... they have to graciously "declare" which means give the other team a go at batting or there'll be no result.

Source:The rules of cricket

Quote:

A draw will also be called after the end of the five days if the team bowling still has some of their ten players left to bat.
This is where strategy comes in as the team who is batting can decide to 'declare' at any time - even with players left. By declaring this means that the other team has to start batting.

No other game has this strategic play, some have penalty shoot outs or time on for a result, but here it's about skill and planning where even when the odds are against you, you can try to save defeat. So the bowling team is pressed hard to get a result and get that other team out or even with a great lead ... it's a draw.

Here's an example.

1st innings (ABC country batted first by the way)

ABC country 357 runs
Australia 600 runs

2nd innings

ABC country 9/350 end of day 5, Australia failed to bat, result a draw.

Even though ABC had more runs from both batting stints and even though Australia clearly won the first innings.

So this is what makes the game interesting. It's not just a slog fest, even if you are sitting there with a massive lead you need to think about getting that other side out. Seldom will any team leave that task till the last day. Most will declare with a reasonable lead at around day 4 to give 1.5 days to try get the other team out.

There is also an expected number of balls to be bowled a day, no dawdling to slow things down so the batting team has a fair amount to hit. Also any stray balls bowled don't count and have to be re bowled.

These rules are pretty well thought out, hence cricket offers a lot more than meets the eye.

I also suppose the other great trait is that compared to some other sports you don't have to be the worlds fittest person. You'll see a few with a beer gut. LOL

I like cricket, and the international competition is great, been called the gentleman's game.

Sir Donald Bradman was notably the finest batsman the world has ever seen. For the crowds of the era it would have been spectacular to watch this guy bat. There's other batsmen who got more runs, no doubt, but not in the amount of innings this guy did with an average of 99.94

newguy18 · 3rd January 2008, 03:37 PM

Heres a quick one.
A young man and an old man were both working on a construction site.the young man told the old man go home you can't keep up with me anyway.The old man replied son I'll bet you $100 and a lunch for a week at the best reastruant in town that I can haul something in that wheelbarrow that you can't haul back.the young man said your on old man.The old man grabbed the wheelbarrow and said alright son hop in.

Therrin · 3rd January 2008, 09:55 PM

A man takes a vacation, and since he's Irish, decides to go to the motherland and see what it's like over there.

While in Ireland he finds himself a pub, goes in, and orders a guiness, thinking that he's being pretty Irish by doing that.

Next to him is seated this grizzled old white-haired man. He looks at the man and says "so what's up with all the violence here? seems nice enough around these parts"

The old man replies in a thick Irish accent, "Oh it's not violent at all! You could raise your kids here, its safer than anything"

The vacationer says, "but I've heard about all the fighting, and explosions and shooting, whats with that?"

The old man says "Oh it's a bunch of media hype. Just them tryin to make people think that its some kind of warzone over here. Nothing could be further from the truth."

The younger man thinks about this, nods, and replies "well, maybe you're right. I guess Ireland is just as peacefull as anywhere, the media always manages to put a negative twist on things.

A few minutes go by.... then the vacationer turns to the old man and says, "so tell me old timer, what do you do around here?"

The man says to him without blinking, "I'm a tailgunner on a school bus"

newguy18 · 4th January 2008, 07:40 AM

shaggs · 5th January 2008, 03:54 PM

WHALE OIL BEEF HOOKED!!

clementine · 6th January 2008, 03:24 AM

One day Mum was cleaning her sons room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.

She hid the magazine until the boys father got home and showed it to him.

He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.

She finally asks him, "Well, what should we do about this?"

He looked at her and said, "Well, I don't think you should spank him!"

newguy18 · 6th January 2008, 06:39 AM

Quintrex · 6th January 2008, 04:57 PM

Therrin · 6th January 2008, 08:06 PM

Ahhh, thats horrible... lol.

Quintrex · 8th January 2008, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by playfordtree

Poor old Chuck never stood a chance

I cant even think of a girls name that rhymes with Chuck?

Maybe the farmer just shot him as a precaution?

Hey Playford, where ya been?
We miss your input.

clementine · 8th January 2008, 02:31 AM

Dragged this from somewhere:

IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Artery......................... The study of paintings
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria
Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die
Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section...............A neighbourhood in Rome
Catscan....................... Searching for Kitty
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her
Colic.......................... A sheep dog
Coma........................... A punctuation mark
Dilate......................... To live long
Enema.......................... Not a friend
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else
Fibula......................... A small lie
Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain.....................Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane
Morbid....................... .. A higher offer
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates
Node........................... I knew it
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative................. A letter carrier
Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery
Rectum......................... Nearly killed him
Secretion...................... Hiding something
Seizure........................ Roman emperor
Tablet......................... A small table
Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport
Tumour..........................One plus one more
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out
2xCondoms..................To be sure, to be sure

azrael · 8th January 2008, 03:42 AM

...many times...each line actually

shaggs · 8th January 2008, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clementine

2xCondoms..................To be sure, to be sure

2nd January 2008, 09:19 PM	#126 (permalink)
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Live Oak Florida home of the crapiest trees you will ever see. Posts: 2,683	Re: It's just a Joke! It was nice knowing you. __________________ Have your say join us today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzkd_m4ivmc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzfzb...eature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-OqK...eature=related

3rd January 2008, 07:18 AM	#128 (permalink)
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Live Oak Florida home of the crapiest trees you will ever see. Posts: 2,683	Re: It's just a Joke! i guess I shouldn't watch cricket because I don't like baseball.Heck I usually don't watch any sport. __________________ Have your say join us today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzkd_m4ivmc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzfzb...eature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-OqK...eature=related

3rd January 2008, 03:37 PM	#130 (permalink)
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Live Oak Florida home of the crapiest trees you will ever see. Posts: 2,683	Re: It's just a Joke! Heres a quick one. A young man and an old man were both working on a construction site.the young man told the old man go home you can't keep up with me anyway.The old man replied son I'll bet you $100 and a lunch for a week at the best reastruant in town that I can haul something in that wheelbarrow that you can't haul back.the young man said your on old man.The old man grabbed the wheelbarrow and said alright son hop in. __________________ Have your say join us today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzkd_m4ivmc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzfzb...eature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-OqK...eature=related

3rd January 2008, 09:55 PM	#131 (permalink)
Therrin The Tree World Bandit Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Lancaster, Ca Posts: 1,273	Re: It's just a Joke! A man takes a vacation, and since he's Irish, decides to go to the motherland and see what it's like over there. While in Ireland he finds himself a pub, goes in, and orders a guiness, thinking that he's being pretty Irish by doing that. Next to him is seated this grizzled old white-haired man. He looks at the man and says "so what's up with all the violence here? seems nice enough around these parts" The old man replies in a thick Irish accent, "Oh it's not violent at all! You could raise your kids here, its safer than anything" The vacationer says, "but I've heard about all the fighting, and explosions and shooting, whats with that?" The old man says "Oh it's a bunch of media hype. Just them tryin to make people think that its some kind of warzone over here. Nothing could be further from the truth." The younger man thinks about this, nods, and replies "well, maybe you're right. I guess Ireland is just as peacefull as anywhere, the media always manages to put a negative twist on things. A few minutes go by.... then the vacationer turns to the old man and says, "so tell me old timer, what do you do around here?" The man says to him without blinking, "I'm a tailgunner on a school bus" __________________ Ken Fessia I.T.S.A. Tree Service (661) 916-4703

4th January 2008, 07:40 AM	#132 (permalink)
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Live Oak Florida home of the crapiest trees you will ever see. Posts: 2,683	Re: It's just a Joke! __________________ Have your say join us today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzkd_m4ivmc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzfzb...eature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-OqK...eature=related

5th January 2008, 03:54 PM	#133 (permalink)
shaggs Mature tree Join Date: May 2007 Location: sydney Posts: 462	Re: It's just a Joke! WHALE OIL BEEF HOOKED!!

6th January 2008, 03:24 AM	#134 (permalink)
clementine Mature tree Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Portugal Posts: 288	Re: It's just a Joke! One day Mum was cleaning her sons room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until the boys father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asks him, "Well, what should we do about this?" He looked at her and said, "Well, I don't think you should spank him!" __________________ Meddle not in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and taste of chicken! Builder in Central Portugal

6th January 2008, 06:39 AM	#135 (permalink)
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Live Oak Florida home of the crapiest trees you will ever see. Posts: 2,683	Re: It's just a Joke! __________________ Have your say join us today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzkd_m4ivmc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzfzb...eature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-OqK...eature=related

6th January 2008, 04:57 PM	#136 (permalink)
Quintrex Mature tree Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 464	Re: It's just a Joke! __________________ Heightmaster

6th January 2008, 08:06 PM	#137 (permalink)
Therrin The Tree World Bandit Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Lancaster, Ca Posts: 1,273	Re: It's just a Joke! Ahhh, thats horrible... lol. __________________ Ken Fessia I.T.S.A. Tree Service (661) 916-4703

8th January 2008, 02:31 AM	#139 (permalink)
clementine Mature tree Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Portugal Posts: 288	Re: It's just a Joke! Dragged this from somewhere: IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY Artery......................... The study of paintings Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section...............A neighbourhood in Rome Catscan....................... Searching for Kitty Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her Colic.......................... A sheep dog Coma........................... A punctuation mark Dilate......................... To live long Enema.......................... Not a friend Fester......................... Quicker than someone else Fibula......................... A small lie Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known Labour Pain.....................Getting hurt at work Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane Morbid....................... .. A higher offer Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates Node........................... I knew it Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis Post Operative................. A letter carrier Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery Rectum......................... Nearly killed him Secretion...................... Hiding something Seizure........................ Roman emperor Tablet......................... A small table Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport Tumour..........................One plus one more Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out 2xCondoms..................To be sure, to be sure __________________ Meddle not in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and taste of chicken! Builder in Central Portugal

8th January 2008, 03:42 AM	#140 (permalink)
azrael Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Earth Australia Posts: 321	Re: It's just a Joke! ...many times...each line actually