It's just a Joke!

clementine · 12th December 2007, 03:39 AM

Will not be rushing to try that

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was to emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything, even in the bedroom. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am much older and wiser now and just looking for a girl with big tits.

JayD · 12th December 2007, 04:27 AM

Funny bloody funny, Years ago I owned a Z1B Kawa.at the time the fastest road bike out there..coppers had them and as you know they generally have the best and fastest...Well long story short I was riding home from my then girlfiends place when something came over me to pull off my spark plug cap doing around 60mph, today around 100ks....Jeeeeezus...I'll never do that again it felt like my joints were violently stretched and I near on dumped my bike...The bloody stupid things you did in your youth!

Therrin · 12th December 2007, 08:15 PM

Hah, Clementine!

That was hillarious... I was reading it goin "yup.... yup, familiar with that one, yup...." Then I got to the end and went "oh crap!...." Guess I'll have to watch out for that last one.

Ekka · 12th December 2007, 09:16 PM

You get some rippers Clemmy, like ya new avatar too!

JayD, atleast you didn't stack the bike.

Ekka · 20th December 2007, 01:44 PM

clementine · 24th December 2007, 10:43 AM

Absolutely spot on Eric, LMBO!

Hope you all ave a bloomin good Christmas!!!!!!

We are in England over Christmas, weather is B....cks, went into town with the missus, we held hands the whole time, if I let go she starts going in shops

Ekka · 24th December 2007, 11:33 AM

Even when you have to go the loo you're best off tying them to a post like a horse.

azrael · 24th December 2007, 03:20 PM

Ha Ha

YouTube - Ford XR8 Ute TV ad - Making Of

azrael · 25th December 2007, 07:23 AM

OR this one for full ad
YouTube - FORD FALCON XR8 UTE COMMERCIAL

Ekka · 27th December 2007, 03:29 AM

Yeah, the Ford boys gotta drown their sorrows they didn't get one of these! LOL

YouTube - VE Holden Ute commercial [2007]

Ekka · 27th December 2007, 03:39 AM

Then again, this ad shows the Ford ute has unreal pulling power. LOL

YouTube - Ford Falcon XR8 Pulling Power

clementine · 27th December 2007, 05:31 PM

I have unreal pulling power when I've had lots to drink!!!!!!

Therrin · 27th December 2007, 05:58 PM

Unreal pulling power

I had gotten a Toyota Tacoma Prerunner (4cyl) for my work truck. Big mistake... mighta been better with somethin like that XR8 thing, lol.

Didn't get the extended cab. Didn't get the V6, didn't get the 4WD. Man I really @*#()$!'d up. Was lookin at some headache racks and such but noone wants to bolt anything to a completely polymer/composite bed.

Found some spots where the big Cali fires burned through that left behind some massive pines. Killed em and burnt off all the lil crappy branches but left all the good wood still standin. Takin my ATV (Honda TRX-300 quad), up there tomorow morning to see if I can somehow make a viable path for the truck to get up there. There's gotta be dozens of cords of good seasoned pine in those things, and no brush to worry about!!!

newguy18 · 27th December 2007, 06:41 PM

Do what i did get an old ford.I have a 1960 f350 flatbed.It has dual rear wheels a 4 speed and a 5.83 rear gear.it'll pul anything I'd ever hook to it.I was gonna put it up but i think I'll hold onto it for now.I could always put a 460 with a 4 barrel under the hood and race it.

pomme · 29th December 2007, 06:38 AM

An old man and woman are getting ready for bed. the old lady comes out of the bathroom lifts her nightie and shouts 'SUPER PUSSY' the old man looks up and says I ll have the soup.

azrael · 30th December 2007, 02:56 AM

Dear Microsoft Technical Support,

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded my software package from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began giving unexpected errors and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket 5.3 no longer run, and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports, Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.
Kind regards,
Joe.
THE REPLY FROM MICROSOFT:
Dear Joe,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a utilities & entertainment program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is a complete operating system, designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can.When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\I APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary 36.24.36 (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.
Thank you for using the program.
With regards,
Bill
P.S. In no case try to install the free software (Mother-in-Law 1.0) that comes with WIFE 1.0 operating system. Installing the software would lead to not responding messages from Wife1.0 operating system.

12th December 2007, 03:39 AM	#101 (permalink)
clementine Mature tree Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Portugal Posts: 288	Re: It's just a Joke! Will not be rushing to try that When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was to emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything, even in the bedroom. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am much older and wiser now and just looking for a girl with big tits. __________________ Meddle not in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and taste of chicken! Builder in Central Portugal

12th December 2007, 04:27 AM	#102 (permalink)
JayD Over mature heritage tree Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 940	Re: It's just a Joke! Funny bloody funny, Years ago I owned a Z1B Kawa.at the time the fastest road bike out there..coppers had them and as you know they generally have the best and fastest...Well long story short I was riding home from my then girlfiends place when something came over me to pull off my spark plug cap doing around 60mph, today around 100ks....Jeeeeezus...I'll never do that again it felt like my joints were violently stretched and I near on dumped my bike...The bloody stupid things you did in your youth! __________________ Free Tree and Green Industry Link Directory

12th December 2007, 08:15 PM	#103 (permalink)
Therrin The Tree World Bandit Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Lancaster, Ca Posts: 1,273	Re: It's just a Joke! Hah, Clementine! That was hillarious... I was reading it goin "yup.... yup, familiar with that one, yup...." Then I got to the end and went "oh crap!...." Guess I'll have to watch out for that last one. __________________ Ken Fessia I.T.S.A. Tree Service (661) 916-4703

12th December 2007, 09:16 PM	#104 (permalink)
Ekka Eric Frei Administrator - Brisbane L5 (Dip) Hort Cert III Arb + some Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Brisbane Posts: 6,915	Re: It's just a Joke! You get some rippers Clemmy, like ya new avatar too! JayD, atleast you didn't stack the bike. __________________ Remember to use the "search" function, if you have answers/questions post them so everyone can benefit. Free Tree and Green Industry Link Directory Qualified Brisbane Tree Lopping \| Stump Grinding and Stump Removal Brisbane Brisbane Tree Care, Consultations, Developer, Tree and Arborist Reports Forum Sponsors

24th December 2007, 10:43 AM	#106 (permalink)
clementine Mature tree Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Portugal Posts: 288	Re: It's just a Joke! Absolutely spot on Eric, LMBO! Hope you all ave a bloomin good Christmas!!!!!! We are in England over Christmas, weather is B....cks, went into town with the missus, we held hands the whole time, if I let go she starts going in shops __________________ Meddle not in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and taste of chicken! Builder in Central Portugal

24th December 2007, 11:33 AM	#107 (permalink)
Ekka Eric Frei Administrator - Brisbane L5 (Dip) Hort Cert III Arb + some Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Brisbane Posts: 6,915	Re: It's just a Joke! Even when you have to go the loo you're best off tying them to a post like a horse. __________________ Remember to use the "search" function, if you have answers/questions post them so everyone can benefit. Free Tree and Green Industry Link Directory Qualified Brisbane Tree Lopping \| Stump Grinding and Stump Removal Brisbane Brisbane Tree Care, Consultations, Developer, Tree and Arborist Reports Forum Sponsors

24th December 2007, 03:20 PM	#108 (permalink)
azrael Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Earth Australia Posts: 321	Re: It's just a Joke! Ha Ha YouTube - Ford XR8 Ute TV ad - Making Of

25th December 2007, 07:23 AM	#109 (permalink)
azrael Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Earth Australia Posts: 321	Re: It's just a Joke! OR this one for full ad YouTube - FORD FALCON XR8 UTE COMMERCIAL

27th December 2007, 03:29 AM	#110 (permalink)
Ekka Eric Frei Administrator - Brisbane L5 (Dip) Hort Cert III Arb + some Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Brisbane Posts: 6,915	Re: It's just a Joke! Yeah, the Ford boys gotta drown their sorrows they didn't get one of these! LOL YouTube - VE Holden Ute commercial [2007] __________________ Remember to use the "search" function, if you have answers/questions post them so everyone can benefit. Free Tree and Green Industry Link Directory Qualified Brisbane Tree Lopping \| Stump Grinding and Stump Removal Brisbane Brisbane Tree Care, Consultations, Developer, Tree and Arborist Reports Forum Sponsors

27th December 2007, 03:39 AM	#111 (permalink)
Ekka Eric Frei Administrator - Brisbane L5 (Dip) Hort Cert III Arb + some Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Brisbane Posts: 6,915	Re: It's just a Joke! Then again, this ad shows the Ford ute has unreal pulling power. LOL YouTube - Ford Falcon XR8 Pulling Power __________________ Remember to use the "search" function, if you have answers/questions post them so everyone can benefit. Free Tree and Green Industry Link Directory Qualified Brisbane Tree Lopping \| Stump Grinding and Stump Removal Brisbane Brisbane Tree Care, Consultations, Developer, Tree and Arborist Reports Forum Sponsors

27th December 2007, 05:31 PM	#112 (permalink)
clementine Mature tree Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Portugal Posts: 288	Re: It's just a Joke! I have unreal pulling power when I've had lots to drink!!!!!! __________________ Meddle not in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and taste of chicken! Builder in Central Portugal

27th December 2007, 05:58 PM	#113 (permalink)
Therrin The Tree World Bandit Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Lancaster, Ca Posts: 1,273	Re: It's just a Joke! Unreal pulling power I had gotten a Toyota Tacoma Prerunner (4cyl) for my work truck. Big mistake... mighta been better with somethin like that XR8 thing, lol. Didn't get the extended cab. Didn't get the V6, didn't get the 4WD. Man I really @*#()$!'d up. Was lookin at some headache racks and such but noone wants to bolt anything to a completely polymer/composite bed. Found some spots where the big Cali fires burned through that left behind some massive pines. Killed em and burnt off all the lil crappy branches but left all the good wood still standin. Takin my ATV (Honda TRX-300 quad), up there tomorow morning to see if I can somehow make a viable path for the truck to get up there. There's gotta be dozens of cords of good seasoned pine in those things, and no brush to worry about!!! __________________ Ken Fessia I.T.S.A. Tree Service (661) 916-4703

27th December 2007, 06:41 PM	#114 (permalink)
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Live Oak Florida home of the crapiest trees you will ever see. Posts: 2,677	Re: It's just a Joke! Do what i did get an old ford.I have a 1960 f350 flatbed.It has dual rear wheels a 4 speed and a 5.83 rear gear.it'll pul anything I'd ever hook to it.I was gonna put it up but i think I'll hold onto it for now.I could always put a 460 with a 4 barrel under the hood and race it. __________________ Have your say join us today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzkd_m4ivmc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzfzb...eature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-OqK...eature=related

29th December 2007, 06:38 AM	#115 (permalink)
pomme Semi-mature vigorous tree Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: england Posts: 220	Re: It's just a Joke! An old man and woman are getting ready for bed. the old lady comes out of the bathroom lifts her nightie and shouts 'SUPER PUSSY' the old man looks up and says I ll have the soup.

30th December 2007, 02:56 AM	#116 (permalink)
azrael Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Earth Australia Posts: 321	Re: It's just a Joke! Dear Microsoft Technical Support, I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded my software package from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began giving unexpected errors and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket 5.3 no longer run, and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports, Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Kind regards, Joe. THE REPLY FROM MICROSOFT: Dear Joe, This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a utilities & entertainment program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is a complete operating system, designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can.When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\I APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary 36.24.36 (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash. Thank you for using the program. With regards, Bill P.S. In no case try to install the free software (Mother-in-Law 1.0) that comes with WIFE 1.0 operating system. Installing the software would lead to not responding messages from Wife1.0 operating system.