It's just a Joke!

Therrin

That is the FUNNIEST thing I've seen in a long time. I couldn't stop laughing. Ahhh, my stomach hurts from laughing.

__________________
Ken Fessia
I.T.S.A. Tree Service
(661) 916-4703

playfordtree

Yes.

__________________
Jack of all trades.
Mastered by No-one.

Q.Q.

Ok got this new one for yas.

Ther are two men on the oppisite sides of the world but are thinking the exact same thing.One is walking a tightrope between two skyscrapers,and the other one is getting a b..w job off an 85yr old woman.

What are they thinking????????.








Don't look down, Don't look down,Don't look down,.

__________________
Q,Q's Tree Lopping

FAMILARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT

clementine

__________________
Meddle not in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and taste of chicken!
Builder in Central Portugal

Q.Q.

Very good had a laugh.

Didn't laugh at the one's I'v used though.I few more spring to mind.

__________________
Q,Q's Tree Lopping

FAMILARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT

Quintrex

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married
and the other a long time wife all met for drinks after work. The
conversation eventually drifted toward how to best spice up their sex lives.
After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in
some S & M role playing. The following week they met up again to compare
notes.


Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end
of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat.
When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was
a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that
we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!'


The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my
fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask,
leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we
not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!'

The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning.
I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long
scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight
leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask.


When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat
down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?''

__________________
Heightmaster

Quintrex

The Lone Ranger and Tonto go camping in the desert. After they get their tent all set up, both men fall sound asleep...

Some hours later, Tonto wakes up the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look up toward sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asks Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says...
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially
billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow... What's it tell you, Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo crap, Kemo Sabe. It means someone steal tent."

__________________
Heightmaster

Quintrex

An Australian is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes.

The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'

'No,' he replies, 'I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.'

Intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?'

The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'

The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'

'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'

The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The Aussie smirks, taps his watch and says, 'Bloody thing's running about an hour fast, can I buy you a drink?'

__________________
Heightmaster

Quintrex

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been
going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long
time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was,
walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave,
using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

"Morris Fishbien," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.

I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.

I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to
love their fellow man."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a f@@*n' wall...."

__________________
Heightmaster

Quintrex

*Pakistan**



Cricket Board refuses Richard Branson's

Virgin

Airlines sponsorship!

Billionaire Virgin Business Group boss, Richard Branson

has offered to sponsor the Pakistan cricket team,

currently reeling after a string of tournament defeats.



However, the embattled Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has

politely refused the generous multi-million-pound offer by

the cricket-mad

magnate.



As one harassed Board official snapped:



'We can't have"*VIRGIN*" written on our

shirts,

when we're getting screwed in every match!'

__________________
Heightmaster

phill ellison

Welldone Quintrex , all awesome

newguy18

Hey batman whats for dinner.Classic.

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Have your say join us today.

I ship USA saws out of the USA

"Everybody's hell on safety."
G.f.beranek.

www.atreestory.com

JayD

l just read batman to my wife...LOL..and it got the "face"

Gave me a belly laugh though

__________________

Free Tree and Green Industry Link Directory

RandyMac

Yeah, the "face", got that here too, gotta quit reading TreeWorld jokes to the wife

__________________
RandyMac

funarty

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Lowe's Building Supply when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.
"The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"
The old guy says...... "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

newguy18

__________________
Have your say join us today.

I ship USA saws out of the USA

"Everybody's hell on safety."
G.f.beranek.

www.atreestory.com

funarty

A boy asks his Granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
>
> Granny replies, 'Bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?'