It's just a Joke!

treevet · 6th August 2008, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bill24

TREEVET.......

new message for an answering machine:-

"If your message is about marijuana, please press hash".

Uh oh, now you re bringing back distorted memories. I got to get to work. Where s my wallet, cell phone, keys (and what the hell are we doing today anyway?)???????

treevet · 6th August 2008, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bill24

TREEVET.......

new message for an answering machine:-

"If your message is about marijuana, please press hash".

If you started reminiscing about an old girlfriend who happened to have one breast higher than the other, would you be having distorted memories or distorted mammories? I m confused.....let's roll another fattie.

newguy18 · 6th August 2008, 07:02 PM

okay just a quickie,
how do you know you've found a good chinese restraunt?

They put cat paws inside the fortune cookies.

funarty · 8th August 2008, 03:41 AM

He he Good one!

treerat · 8th August 2008, 10:54 AM

For sevral years, a man was having an affair with and Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey, she said, you received a very strang post card today"
Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later, he said. The wife did and watched as her husband read the card, turned white , and fainted.

On the card was written:
Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs,Two without
Send extra sauce

Daniel son in MIssouri · 8th August 2008, 12:23 PM

I could not stop cracking up with all the jokes, especially the one about 5 months not speaking with wife....http://www.treeworld.info/images/smilies/happy097.gif

awesome

JayD · 8th August 2008, 06:04 PM

This is worth a look, One pissed off pussy!

l wouldn't like to be the one that tossed this pussy in the water...If looks could kill!!

bill24 · 8th August 2008, 06:22 PM

Bird killing b-------s, used to get $12.00 a skin in the late 70's, a by product of fox whistling/spotlighting.

In the S/E Aus. bush they go feral and play havoc with our native birds and small mammals like gliders, native rats.

Whistling foxs one day, had a fox to the right and feral cat to the left coming in, shot the fox first of course, worth $33, then the cat.

As well as making a few bucks I reckon it helped save a lot of Aus. little native creatures, foxes being introduced here by the POM's years ago.

Nice pic. of one unhappy MOGGY.

Off thread a bit here, sorry.

Daniel son in MIssouri · 9th August 2008, 03:37 AM

meatball joke was funny, so was the spaghetti spaghetti spaghetti....

funarty · 9th August 2008, 04:29 AM

Go Bill 24

It's good ol' Peter Garett is stopping those people bringing in the cats crossed with the African cat.Imagine what they would do to our wildlife!!!!

bill24 · 9th August 2008, 03:32 PM

Yep FUNARTY, they would play merry hell here.

From what I caught in the media they are bigger than our domestic cats.

The possibility of them x breeding would happen eventually - someone somewhere would get careless.

A bigger predator would be able to take down a larger native animal and have a huge impact.

Pete got something right!

All the best & hope family well.

(Had our nearly 3 g/son o/night, great kid, enjoyed having him here.)

wulkowicz · 11th August 2008, 02:50 AM

Somewhere back in time, actually autumn of 1963, I was the art director of a little college magazine in the states called Aardvark. It was all cut and paste, no computers or Photoshop around, and getting the magazine out was a chore beyond belief.

I've included my first cartoon, which was printed in that issue for exactly what it was; the unrestrained dementia of youth.

I have since mellowed and matured; largely meaning swollen and lumpy, but I still have that wulkowiczian blend of nostalgia with a bewilderment about the future, so I updated the cartoon.

It's dedicated to everyone here with a short attention span...

pomme · 11th August 2008, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wulkowicz

Somewhere back in time, actually autumn of 1963, I was the art director of a little college magazine in the states called Aardvark. It was all cut and paste, no computers or Photoshop around, and getting the magazine out was a chore beyond belief.

I've included my first cartoon, which was printed in that issue for exactly what it is; the unrestrained dementia of youth.

sorry for that. for some reason the pics did nt load DOH

clementine · 11th August 2008, 03:26 AM

Is that a bad case of piles ?????

wulkowicz · 11th August 2008, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pomme

well, there you have it. I'm off laboring with the stupidities of resizing the pictures, and somebody slips in and then complains about what I haven't finished.

Perhaps I was a bit prophetic about short attention spans with the attendant impatience.

Did you have a clue that I might know the post needed pictures? Or was it an internal joke that you used avatars?

Signed

A still misunderstood artiste

pomme · 11th August 2008, 03:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wulkowicz

well, there you have it. I'm off laboring with the stupidities of resizing the pictures, and somebody slips in and then complains about what I haven't finished.

Perhaps I was a bit prophetic about short attention spans with the attendant impatience.

Did you have a clue that I might know the post needed pictures? Or was it an internal joke that you used avatars?

Signed

A still misunderstood artiste

just fast i guess lol

treerat · 12th August 2008, 08:26 AM

The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide,holding a net, yelled,"Look at the size of that S-O-B!!!.
Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for! "No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is- a S-O-B fish!""Really? Well then, help me land this S-O-B!"
Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster."Father, th

6th August 2008, 07:02 PM	#478 (permalink)
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Dead twig Florida. Posts: 4,062	Re: It's just a Joke! okay just a quickie, how do you know you've found a good chinese restraunt? They put cat paws inside the fortune cookies. __________________ Have your say join us today. I ship USA saws out of the USA "Everybody's hell on safety." G.f.beranek. www.atreestory.com

8th August 2008, 10:54 AM	#480 (permalink)
treerat Sappling Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Eastern Pa. Posts: 36	Re: It's just a Joke! For sevral years, a man was having an affair with and Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 9months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey, she said, you received a very strang post card today" Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later, he said. The wife did and watched as her husband read the card, turned white , and fainted. On the card was written: Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghetti. Three with meatballs,Two without Send extra sauce

8th August 2008, 12:23 PM	#481 (permalink)
Daniel son in MIssouri Sappling Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: MIssouri Posts: 5	Re: It's just a Joke! I could not stop cracking up with all the jokes, especially the one about 5 months not speaking with wife....http://www.treeworld.info/images/smilies/happy097.gif awesome

8th August 2008, 06:22 PM	#483 (permalink)
bill24 Semi-mature vigorous tree Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Victoria, AUST. Posts: 85	Re: It's just a Joke! Bird killing b-------s, used to get $12.00 a skin in the late 70's, a by product of fox whistling/spotlighting. In the S/E Aus. bush they go feral and play havoc with our native birds and small mammals like gliders, native rats. Whistling foxs one day, had a fox to the right and feral cat to the left coming in, shot the fox first of course, worth $33, then the cat. As well as making a few bucks I reckon it helped save a lot of Aus. little native creatures, foxes being introduced here by the POM's years ago. Nice pic. of one unhappy MOGGY. Off thread a bit here, sorry.

9th August 2008, 03:37 AM	#484 (permalink)
Daniel son in MIssouri Sappling Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: MIssouri Posts: 5	Re: It's just a Joke! meatball joke was funny, so was the spaghetti spaghetti spaghetti....

9th August 2008, 04:29 AM	#485 (permalink)
funarty Semi-mature vigorous tree Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: townsville Q.L.D. Australia Posts: 189	Re: It's just a Joke! Go Bill 24 It's good ol' Peter Garett is stopping those people bringing in the cats crossed with the African cat.Imagine what they would do to our wildlife!!!!

9th August 2008, 03:32 PM	#486 (permalink)
bill24 Semi-mature vigorous tree Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Victoria, AUST. Posts: 85	Re: It's just a Joke! Yep FUNARTY, they would play merry hell here. From what I caught in the media they are bigger than our domestic cats. The possibility of them x breeding would happen eventually - someone somewhere would get careless. A bigger predator would be able to take down a larger native animal and have a huge impact. Pete got something right! All the best & hope family well. (Had our nearly 3 g/son o/night, great kid, enjoyed having him here.)

11th August 2008, 03:26 AM	#489 (permalink)
clementine Mature tree Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Portugal Posts: 332	Re: It's just a Joke! Is that a bad case of piles ????? __________________ Meddle not in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and taste of chicken! Builder in Central Portugal