Noah lets down Lord for 2008 ark and flood

Eric Frei · 10th May 2008, 11:35 AM

Quote:

In the year 2008 the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia ,

and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated,

and I see the end of all flesh before me.Build another Ark and save 2 of

every living thing along with a few good humans.'

He gave Noah the plans, saying, 'You have 6 months to build the Ark before I

will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.' Six months later, the

Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

'Noah!' He roared , 'I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?' 'Forgive

me, Lord,' begged Noah 'but things have changed. I needed a building

permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler

system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning

laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We

had to go to the Shire Council for a decision.

Then ERGON demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving

power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the

Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but

they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees

because the Nature Conservation authorities say it will upset thebalance of

the local ecological system. I tried to convince them that I needed the wood

to save us all from extinction - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA prosecuted me. They

insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. Theyargued the

accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so

many animals in a confined spaceThe traffic authorities said it would take

six months after completionof the ark to plan a route to the sea. I told them

also that the sea would be coming to my back yard. They threatened to have

me committed.Then the DPI ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until I had

arranged and conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed

flood.I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Fair Trading group on

how many 'Stolen generation' persons I'm supposed to hire for my building

crew. The State Government has insisted that I provide them with a list of

the people who want to work so that they can check that they are not from

the non designated group.

UNIONS say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union

workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, ATO seized

all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with

endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this

Ark.'

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched

across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy

the world?'

'No,' said the Lord. 'The Australian Government has beaten me to it.'

newguy18 · 11th May 2008, 04:33 PM

Therrin · 11th May 2008, 04:46 PM

I sent it to my grandma, she'll get a kick out of that!

Ace Master · 11th May 2008, 10:43 PM

so true!

newguy18 · 12th May 2008, 02:59 AM

i just sent it to my mom.

jules · 12th May 2008, 11:00 AM

just sent to a mate quality

11th May 2008, 04:33 PM	#2
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: orlando,fl Posts: 4,977	Re: Noah lets down Lord for 2008 ark and flood __________________ Have your say join us today. old schooler

11th May 2008, 04:46 PM	#3
Therrin Former Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Bakersfield, Ca Posts: 2,512	Re: Noah lets down Lord for 2008 ark and flood I sent it to my grandma, she'll get a kick out of that!

11th May 2008, 10:43 PM	#4
Ace Master Mature tree Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Australia, Vic, Melbourne Posts: 387	Re: Noah lets down Lord for 2008 ark and flood so true! __________________ Website: The Mt Dandenong Ranges Tree Specialists YouTube: Ace Tree Master

12th May 2008, 02:59 AM	#5
newguy18 Part of the Furniture Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: orlando,fl Posts: 4,977	Re: Noah lets down Lord for 2008 ark and flood i just sent it to my mom. __________________ Have your say join us today. old schooler

12th May 2008, 11:00 AM	#6
jules Sappling Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: uk Posts: 5	Re: Noah lets down Lord for 2008 ark and flood just sent to a mate quality

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