Getting Old

arborcraft

Getting Old Is Not For Sissies! (mainly from a US website, I can?t attribute, because I?ve forgotten)

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising... I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
My son has a variation on this but I'm ashamed to say that I can't remember it.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband? "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"

A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says,"Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?" "You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdale's. "Bloomingdale's?" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdale's?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?" " Twelve thirty."

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful'"

And last the favourite ?.


I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, have lost all my friends. But.....Thank God, I still have my driver's license!

15/9/2005??That's not my favourite, but yesterday in Sydney, SOS and I watched an elderly female driver turn left up Ocean Street from Edgecliff Road, cutting off two lanes of traffic and proceeding up the road at a sedate 20kph. Two intersections up is a T-intersection to the left. It is not evenly remotely possible to contemplate doing a U-turn here to head back down Ocean Street; it is so remote that even the Roads and Traffic Authority have not installed a sign saying "No U-turns".
Well, she indicated left to change half a lane to the left and then she indicated right to commence the U-turn.
Dead set, it was an 8 point turn, well maybe 5, ok 4, or do they have to be odd numbers, or multiples of 3? just pass on....
With both directions blocked, all 4 lanes. Horns were blowing from both directions, but Steve and I just looked at each other in disbelief. We didn?t blow the horn or abuse her.
It was all done very slowly but determinedly. I think she had done it before.
I don't think anyone had shown her how to do it. I think she had worked it out for herself.
I suppose it will happen to us all.... rage against the dying of the light?

Dylan Thomas? ?Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night?

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Sean Freeman

My favourite poem about dying that one, recently sent it to a friend struggling with the immenent death of another very close friend...I think it permits another take on the way we feel about the shortness of our life and how often it not only feels unfair when we loose loved ones but is unfair, and getting angry about it is ok.

Thanks for the reminder of one of Dylan's best pieces.........I used to have Undermilkwood on record cracked me up every time I played it (Richard Burton narrating)

arborcraft

Sean,
Good comments of yours. Another perspective.

Thanks for reminding me of Under Milkwood. I had a copy as a kid. I grew up in a coastal country town in NSW and once or twice heard serial excerpts of Richard Burton's narration on ABC radio. I didn't know there was a record or, like you, I would have worn the vynil out. I should look to see if it's been re-issued as a CD.

treevet

getting old, melancholy musings, not always an undesirable pastime

newguy18

Who wants to get old?i thought only the good die young.

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old schooler

Jeff Darby

Musings from the youth of our world is funny stuff aswell, Bill your choice is death or old age.

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treevet

boy we bringin out all the old treads

Therrin

I thought the choices were death or death *after* old age?

I don't think Bill has a choice in the matter, I'm giving him a couple years more, tops. (and only maybe that much)

We should probably get him to write down his last wishes in a thread somewhere, so we have a copy, and start planning his funeral.

treevet

awwww, let's give em a few more.