My mate Steve went out to a nightclub recently, he is single and was hoping he could pick up a hot chick.
After several hours, and several beers he headed home empty handed.
(poor bugger has no luck with women)
Anyway, on his way home he had to walk across a farmers paddock, the paddock just happened to be full of ripe pumpkins.
He tells me that he doesn't know if it was the beer, or the way the moonlight was shining on those pumpkins, but he decided he needed a bit of "relief".
So he whips out his trusty Swiss Army knife and cuts a nice hole in one of the pumpkins.
You can just picture him standing there, pants down around his ankles, belly full of beer, and making sweet,sweet pumpkin loooove!
Suddenly from behind he is illuminated by a bright light, then a booming voice calls out "This is the Police, what the hell are you doing there mate?"
He turns around, looks down at the pumpkin impaled on his manhood and says, "Aw sh*t, is it midnight already"
